Chill Or Kill?
US President Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, was angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a letter. Later, Stanton told the President he was ready to send the strongly worded letter. Lincoln said, “You don’t want to send that letter. . . . Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter, and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.”
controlled or controlling?
At the start of this year, a friend of mine made a statement that set the tone for the rest of my year. Nicola remains convinced that “control” is at the root of many of our internal struggles—with self-control being the most challenging to master. We get angry or lose heart when we can’t control people or circumstances. We lack discipline and lose control over our own thoughts, words, or actions, and spiral into a self-destructive cycle—hurting ourselves and others.
making Jesus angry
My wife rarely gets angry, and in that way she’s my complete opposite. But that also means that when she does get mad, I pay very close attention because only something significant gets her worked up.
when bad guys win
How do you feel when you play by the rules, but the cheaters win? Not pleasant, huh? But things like that happen in life—sometimes bad guys win and the good guys suffer.
quick . . . and slow
If you engage in any form of social media (Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.), you’ve surely read something that set your blood to boil. I’m not sure that we’ve figured out how to have meaningful conversation around divisive topics in the virtual world. Is it even possible?
heavy lifting
An elderly man saw me struggling to carry a heavy box from my car to the post office. Rather than let his age, a pronounced limp, or hot weather deter him, he rushed to my assistance.
gradual catastrophe
Scott and Robin began to worry when cracks appeared in the walls of their home. Over the course of 2 weeks, the fractures widened until their garage dropped away from their house. The rest of their property shifted and eventually sank 10 feet below street level. Then eight of their neighbors endured the same gradual catastrophe, linked to underground leakage from a county water system.
the waiting game
In 2006, Trevor Thompson surveyed 1,003 adults and determined the following: While waiting in line at an office or store, most people take an average of 17 minutes to lose their cool. When placed on hold during a phone call, most people lose their patience in 9 minutes. Women lose their patience after waiting in line for about 18 minutes. Men lose it after 15 minutes. People with a college education and a higher income lose their patience quicker than those with lower income less and education.
generous unity
April 2013 marked a milestone birthday for me. To celebrate, we took a long trip to my college “stomping grounds.” Numerous tollbooths, scenic beach views, and city excursions marked our unforgettable vacation. The highlight for my husband and me, though, was a little unexpected: it was that our kids had actually enjoyed being together for an extended period of time.
you choose Q: how do you deal with betrayal?
Q: I've been severely betrayed by someone who I thought was a true friend. Every time I see her at church I am reminded of how she hurt me and it angers me. I want to leave my current church now and move to another one. If has been almost a year since this happened and it has been the…
good conflict
Many Christians are masters at conflict-avoidance. Perhaps we confuse “blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9) with “blessed are those who avoid unpleasant situations.” But conflict and confrontation weave their way throughout the fabric of the Bible.
forgive the shark
Lucy Magnum was boogie boarding in the ocean when a shark sank its teeth into her leg. Her parents acted quickly to save her leg by applying pressure to it until paramedics arrived. Later, Lucy understandably said, “I hate sharks.” Her parents gently replied that the shark had simply acted instinctively. Lucy then responded with grace: “I don’t care that the shark bit me. I forgive him.”
blameless
Many people trust their pharmacists more than their pastors! According to a 2012 Gallup poll, respondents were asked to rate the “honesty and ethical standards” of 22 different professions. Seventy-five percent ranked pharmacists as high/very high. Car salesmen and members of Congress were trusted least. Sadly, church leaders ranked eighth, and only one in two said the ones they know are men of integrity.
you choose Q: how can forgive my brother who has deeply hurt me?
Q: How can I forgive my brother who has deeply hurt me and my family but is unrepentant? —Lynn
A: Living with an unrepentant family member requires love and strength of character.
We should always discipline ourselves to not seek vengeance, regardless of what the person has done to us. Allowing our hearts to be filled with rage, hatred, and longing…
a better plan
Many years ago, my wife and I felt that God was moving us out of our comfort zone to ignite a new work within an established ministry. When we met with the ministry’s leadership, however, our plans were rejected. In essence, they said our vision was good, but our timing wasn’t. We were disappointed and asked God, “Why?”
